Archive for August, 2007

Time to learn something new

Monday, August 20th, 2007

The song Blackbird was originally written, recorded, and performed by The Beatles back in 1968. It appeared on their White Album. This is a classic song, well at least I think so anyway.

As a guitar player, this song has been a mystery to me. One of my friends who is a connoisseur of guitar has shown me an alternate turning to play this song on, and it works well too, but I didn’t take the opportunity of filming it for future reference.

Two other people have shown me their versions of Blackbird, but this demonstration I found on YouTube seems to be very close to the original. It also looks like it can be done with a standard guitar tuning; which is a real bonus if you happen to steal someone else’s guitar for the sake of playing the song.

As this dude in the video clip has long hair, his guitar playing gets extra credibility. I think practicing this 15-20 minutes a day for a week should have me fully proficient by next weekend. Now I must remember to commit myself to daily practice.

Once I have worked out this song, I will probably play it for hours, and forget to practice for the rest of the week, however I am long overdue in adding some new songs to my playing/singing list. As I love this song, I must learn it, and learn it I shall.

While I am on the topic of YouTube, the next video clip is guaranteed to infringe upon someone’s copyright, but as it comes from 1974, I am not sure how long for. This song and video clips brings back one of the few memories I have of the late 1970s to the early 1980s. My sister and I used to watch this video clip between Mr Ed and Space Ghost on Channel 7, and I believe this was aired back in 1979 or 1980.

During this TV era, TV stations put in “fillers” such as video clips in between TV shows to fill in the time gaps caused by shorter running TV shows. Unfortunately for the new generation of TV viewers, the TV stations have extra TV shows with dodgy TV hosts that now speak dribble to fill in time. This came about through the implementation of variety shows, which evolved into something ugly. I do have a vivid memory of how this happened, but it is another story, and to continue pondering about it could turn out to be a traumatic experience.

In my honourable opinion, these evil TV shows should be deported to the black hole, sucked into the vortex, and never return to TV. The filler video clips were grand, and TV stations should seriously consider re-introducing these “fillers” back to the airways. Nik Kershaw’s Wouldn’t it be good and Pink Floyd’s The Wall Part II were well known video clips of this era, simply because they were played every day. But as children, we loved them. Well I think so.

Well to get back on to topic, I present (well YouTube technically does) Roger Glover and the Butterfly Ball. My mate Miles hates this song with a vengeance. I however love this song and this video clip. It brings back pleasant memories, possibly inspired by associated emotions I had at the time. It reminds me of the early sunny mornings, and being somewhat civilized with my older sister, even though they were brief moments. This clip also has classic appearances from The Wind in the Willows, and has cameo appearances from other popular cartoons of the 1970s. It certainly is a trip down memory lane.

Lonely weekend

Saturday, August 18th, 2007

It’s been a lonely weekend, but then again, it is by choice.

This evil flu has been bothering me, and over the past few days has really affected my focus. I think from today I am on the mend. I do see some positive signs.

My blocked ears have cleared up,  my nose is now like slime, and my throat is still swollen quite badly, but I think I am started to feel better. Swallowing a few hundred ice cubes seemed to help. The permanent head ache has disappeared into oblivion - which can only be a good thin.  The mega-coughs have stopped too, so that is a big relief.  I am not sure if it is viral or bacterial, however it appears to be viral. Based on this advice it would be safe to visit others, however I may go into isolation hermit mode for another day or so, just to ensure no one else has to suffer this sickness as a result of me being around them. I know one this is for certain, this illness I have acquired can’t be trusted.

On a sick day you get creative

Friday, August 17th, 2007

Today I woke up with full on flu like symptoms. Two blocked ears, an evil cough, and my ability to speak was somewhat limited.

But alas, one needs to eat, especially a sick me. So I did the 4 hour stint in the kitchen (with much rest breaks in between), and made myself enough Lasagne to sink a battleship. Now I won’t have to cook another meal for a whole week, although I will get sick of lasagne very soon.

My Lasagne

The ingredients are:

  • 2.5kg of premium beef mince (they even had the Heart Foundation tick - haha!)
  • 1kg of mozzarella cheese (these wouldn’t get that magical Heart Foundation tick that is for sure)
  • 600g of Tasty cheese
  • On top - cheddar/mozzarella combo 250g (Coon Pizza Cheese I believe).
  • 3 boxes of large San Remo lasagne sheets
  • 1.5kg of pasta sauce (Dolmio) and a tin of crushed tomatoes (because it was there)
  • Italian Herbs (MasterFoods), a tiny amount of chili (liquid chili - Chinese brand), and some garlic to kill this damn flu (i hope)
  • MSG Added (two teaspoons)
  • Corn Flour (about half a cup)
  • Butter (around 100g)
  • Low Fat milk (700ml) - REV Milk in this instance
  • Splash of Olive oil (just for good measure) and to give it the authentic Italian taste

Well this was made in 3 parts:

The meat sauce:

Throw beef into pot, and heat and stir until all beef browned (or all pink has disappeared), and then add MSG, Italian Herbs, some Olive Oil, and then the past sauce. Add a bucket load of pasta sauce (yes I have a huge pot) - and simmer (but stir every 5 minutes or so). Wait a few hours.

90 minutes later - I start on the:

The white sauce:

Melt butter (but don’t boil), add milk, some Italian herbs and half a cup of corn flour (about 125g or half cup), and heat gently, and keep stirring until sauce thickens.

The lasagne construction:

This took 10 minutes, which is by far the quickest part:

The only decision making is how many layers to make. In this case, I had enough ingreidents for six layers. But then you have to estimate the division of the sauces and cheese. That was a little more challenging.

  • Preheat oven to 180 degree
  • Placed ingredients in this order
  • Pasta sheets x 4
  • Meat Sauce
  • Cheese
  • White Sauce
  • (Repeat 6 times)

Two people - myself included evaluated this dish. It scored a handsome 8/10. (based on average of both evaluators).

This is a high energy food, and it will never be published in my Weight Loss Challenge. But making such a big lasagne dish means that I won’t have to cook for another week. Now that is forward thinking.

  • Top layer added (250g) of Pizza Cheese (Cheda and Mozzarella combo)

Simulated dying - dare to try?

Wednesday, August 8th, 2007

Well a few days ago, I heard the rumor about this all powerful death chilli. Then I stumbled upon this newspaper article in the Brisbane Times. The full original article can be found here. I thought I had better quote the source, as withholding this small detail would be considered blatant plagiarism.

The death chilli looks authentic, but I am not sure how they measure “Scoville Units”, or even define them for that matter. But I think I would be willing to risk death and try this chilli? I also have a few friends who wish to risk their life and try this death chilli too. Are they mad also? Time will tell I guess.

I wonder if I would get the same hallucination affects that Homer Simpson got when he ate the death chilli? Maybe I will get an epiphany? Maybe the after affect would kill me? Who knows, but I must try it.

So as it happens, my cousin, who is Dr Danger by legal name and by title is touring India. I’ve made him aware of this death chilli. He will do his best to get me one, or at least get the powdered version of it; which is safe and legal to export I believe. Anyway, enough ranting from me, you can read the newspaper article below if you wish.

PS. I still can’t get over this Indian’s big beady eyes, and that smug look on his face. I can also imagine him saying right now, “Ooooh you’re going to eat this chilli, ooooh”.

deathchilli.jpg

When you eat it, it’s like dying

CHANGPOOL, India - The farmer, a quiet man with an easy smile, has spent a lifetime eating a chilli pepper with a strange name and a vicious bite. His mother stirred them into sauces. His wife puts them out for dinner raw, blood-red morsels of pain to be nibbled - carefully, very carefully - with whatever she’s serving.

Around here, in the hills of northeastern India, it’s called the “bhut jolokia” - the “ghost chilli.” Anyone who has tried it, they say, could end up an apparition.

“It is so hot you can’t even imagine,” said the farmer, Digonta Saikia, working in his fields in the midday sun, his face nearly invisible behind an enormous straw hat. “When you eat it, it’s like dying.”

Outsiders, he insisted, shouldn’t even try it. “If you eat one,” he told a visitor, “you will not be able to leave this place.”

The rest of the world, though, should prepare itself.

Because in this remote Indian region facing bloody insurgencies, widespread poverty and a major industry - tea farming - in deep decline, hope has come in the form of this thumb-sized chilli pepper with frightening potency and a superlative rating: the spiciest chilli in the world. A few months ago, Guinness World Records made it official.

If you think you’ve had a hotter chilli pepper, you’re wrong.

The smallest morsels can flavour a sauce so intensely it’s barely edible. Eating a raw sliver causes watering eyes and a runny nose. An entire chilli is an all-out assault on the senses, akin to swigging a cocktail of battery acid and glass shards.

For generations, though, it’s been loved in India’s northeast, eaten as a spice, a cure for stomach troubles and, seemingly paradoxically, a way to fight the crippling summer heat.

Now, though, with scientific proof that barreled the bhut jolokia into the record books - it has more than 1,000,000 Scoville units, the scientific measurement of a chilli’s spiciness - northeast India is taking its chilli to the outside world.

Exporters are eagerly courting the international community of rabid chilli-lovers, a group that has traded stories for years about a mysterious, powerful Indian chilli. Farmers are planting new fields of bhut jolokias, government officials are talking about development programs.

Chances are no one will get rich. But in a region where good news is a rarity, the world record status has meant a lot of pride - and a little more business.

“It has got tremendous potential,” says Leena Saikia, the managing director of Frontal AgriTech, a food business in the northeastern state of Assam that has been in the forefront of bhut jolokia exports.

Last year, her company shipped out barely a tonne of the chillis. This year, amid the surge in publicity, the goal is 10 tonnes to nearly a dozen countries. “We’re getting so many inquiries,” says Saikia, who is unrelated to the farmer. “We’ll be giving employment to so many people.”

For now, at least, transport issues and a tangle of government regulations mean most exports are of dried bhut jolokias and chilli paste. But, Saikia added, the paste can be used for everything from hot sauces to tear gas. Because the heat is so concentrated, food manufacturers in need of seasoning can use far less bhut jolokia than they would normal chillis.

India’s northeast, a cluster of seven states that hangs off the country’s eastern edge, is a place where most people are ethnically closer to China and Myanmar than the rest of India. It’s a deeply troubled area, often neglected by the central government in New Delhi, where more than two dozen ethnic militant groups are fighting the Indian government and one another. Many areas remain largely off-limits to foreigners and few days pass without at least one killing.

In Assam, the wealthiest of the region’s states, the long-dominant tea industry is facing falling prices and rising costs, and one-third of the population lives below the poverty line. Attacks by the state’s main militant group, the United Liberation Front of Asom, and retaliatory government crackdowns, have brutalised the region.

“Maybe this bhut jolokia can help change things here,” says Ranjana Bhuyan, a high-school teacher shopping for vegetables in the Assamese town of Jorhat on a recent evening. Like most people here, she normally mixes bhut jolokias into sauces, or pickles them as a sort of spicy relish, but also likes to eat tiny pieces raw, enjoying the flavour and the sharp jolt.

“People have been eating this forever,” she says.

Only in the past few years, though, has the rest of the world even heard of it. The first reports filtered out in 2000, when the government’s Assam-based Defense Research Laboratory announced the bhut jolokia as the world’s hottest chilli. But their tests, reportedly done during research on tear gas, took years to be corroborated.

The confirmation came earlier this year from New Mexico State University’s Chile Pepper Institute, where spiciness is a religion. The institute got its first bhut jolokia seeds in 2001, but it took years to grow enough peppers for testing.

Their results, backed up by two independent labs and heralded by Guinness, were astonishing.

A chilli’s spiciness can be scientifically measured by calculating its content of capsaicin, the chemical that gives a pepper its bite, and counting its Scoville units.

And how hot is the bhut jolokia?

As a way of comparison: Classic Tabasco sauce ranges from 2,500 to 5,000 Scoville units. Your basic jalapeno pepper measures anywhere from 2,500 to 8,000. The previous record holder, the Red Savina habanero, was tested at up to 580,000 Scovilles.

The bhut jolokia crushed those contenders, testing at 1,001,304 Scoville units.

While small amounts of bhut jolokia are grown in a few other places, including Sri Lanka and Bangladesh (and a similar variety, the Dorset Naga, in England), horticulturists say the gentle sloping hills, heat and humidity of the Indian northeast make it the ideal greenhouse.

The pepper is known by any number of names across India’s northeast. It’s the “poison chilli” in some areas, the “king of the chillis” in others. Just to the south of Assam is Nagaland, it’s eaten in nearly every meal. As a result, it is often called the Naga mircha - the “Naga chilli.”

Still, getting your hands on a fresh bhut jolokia is difficult except in a handful of northeastern towns. A few specialty companies in the United States and Britain sell dried chillis and seeds, but the plants are painfully fragile, susceptible to many pests and diseases, and very difficult to grow.

So it may take a while before farmers outside this region are able to grow the bulbous, wrinkled pepper on a large scale.

For now, outside of a few exports, the bhut jolokia will remain with the people who have eaten it for centuries.

Said Saikia, the farmer. “It has become a part of our culture.”


Monday Mayhem

Monday, August 6th, 2007

Well after an unexpected but very quick run down to Geelong on Sunday evening, I arrived home at the midnight hour.

Jason our system administrator thought it would be better if he exercised his BOFH attributes, and sent me off to the data centre by myself to install the two servers and a firewall. (How hard could this be really?)

I woke up at 7am, and headed off to North Melbourne with the servers and firewall. The universal rails provided with these new Dell servers could not be adjusted to fit into these cabinets. I moved the brackets, adjusted them, but they could not be fitted. The only way I could make them fit was by punching out these spot welded bolts. Without a good screw driver and a hammer, not a good option. The other option was to file them down, or break them off, and these options were not ideal either, especially as I was already in the data centre. After several hours, I was determined that these rails were never going to fit after trying every possible position amongst different fitting brackets, but if I was wise, I should have worked it out in like 15 minutes. You could say I tried almost every move of the server fitting Kama Sutra - if it does exist. I then had to take the smarter option.

I had to spend more money and “order” a shelf for the cabinet from the data centre. The shelf was also heavier than it looked. In reality, the shelf always remains in the data centre, so I am not sure if If the company will ever get to take the shelf away from the data centre, but it looks like we have purchased it none the less. After dropping one of the brackets/locking brace for the server shelf, which fell through the hole at the base of the cabinet (we had a the bottom of a quarter rack), I managed to fish it out with some long noose pliers and a long screw driver. These spring loaded brackets weren’t secure (as the screws actually tighten them), and they too kept falling out while I was trying to fit the cabinet shelf. The other problem is that the shelf had to be mounted close to the base of the cabinet, to be efficient with space. My hands couldn’t even fit underneath this shelf, yet I managed to screw the screws in the brackets - without any visual aids. After placing the brackets, and slowly leveling the shelf on one side, I fitted two corners, but they didn’t line up at the other end. I was getting very frustrated at this stage. I had to loosen them again, just to move the shelf back in proper alignment. After getting it absolutely perfectly, I finally got the servers and firewall installed on the shelf.

So after stuffing with rails, playing hide and seek with brackets and screws, and fitting the shelf, 3.5 hours ticked by. The actually fitting and testing of the new servers and firewall took 10 minutes. I am happy they worked as planned.

Now if our BOFH System Admin came with me, I am sure the job would have been easily done in half an hour to an hour tops. The moral of the story is, never let the BOFH get away with sleeping in when a job is to be done. The other moral of the story is, I suck as a fitter. I am sure my Dad and sister have much better fitting skills than I do, and both of them are far more practical with their hands. I will know now to be prepared, and to stop flogging a dead horse.

Pack my guitar, and hit the road

Sunday, August 5th, 2007

Well today I am intending to have a Souvlaki Lunch, and a jam session with the boys. We may even record a song. Who knows? If we do, I will publish it here.

I didn’t have time to re-string my beaten up old acoustic guitar, but I think it sounds OK anyway. New strings always bring about the new “jing” sound. Time is short, so I must go.

The alternate Rost Lamb

Saturday, August 4th, 2007

A dear woman I work with commonly known as Gill, has made the best roast lamb I have ever eaten. I am not exaggerating. I am sure that there are many in the town of Frankston and beyond that would boldly support my claim too.

I know this “best ever lamb roast” is not a fluke, because I have had the privilege of eating three of four of these. Gill always delivers the best. She is also the host that can boast the most roast. My mate Ian gives it the “three thumbs” up rating. A single “thumbs up” rating is considering brilliant, well according to Ian anyway.

My friend Miles once made the ultimate Immortal roast Chicken. This is a classic fluke roast. I am sad to say after about 10 attempts of tying too reproduce this roast, we will never come close to the original. Daniel, Kane, Miles and I are witnesses to the original. Or our stomaches would also vouch for this. Miles and I have tried the reproduction of this roast, but we have never been able to reproduce it.

Tonight I’ve been offered a nice dinner with John, Betty and a few others. Betty who is originally from New York (I think), has lived in Luxembourg 17 years. She ran her own resteraunt in Luxembourg, and she believes her roast lamb is to be ultimately admired. She marinates it 24 hours before hand, hammers it with cloves of garlic, and then prepares the roasting. I would hate to make a comparison between the Gill Lamb Roast, and Betty’s version. So I won’t make such a comparison, or even talk about it. I don’t think there is any need to consciously compare; simply relax and appreciate the fact that I am an invited guest. Sorry for the rant, its possibly a sign that I am going mad!

There is a lesson to be learned, its called self preservation. Appreciate any food that is on offer, and has been made with you in mind. These people love your fellowship, and you love them also. However your stomach also knows it wishes to revisit that experience too. It may seem very selfish, but in reality, if you have ever tried an ultimate roast, you will want to do it again.

If Betty’s roast is half as good as Gill’s I’d be very impressed indeed. If its a “three thumbs up” rating or better, I would still be very impressed. Then again, I think its obvious on how to keep me content.

Tomorrow the Souvlaki quest is on again. My mates Ramon, (nameless), and myself go on a quest to find Melbourne’s Ultimate Souvlaki. Chances are we’ll give up on the quest and head straight to Zorbas. But that’s another story.

There is nothing quite like a notice from the police!

Wednesday, August 1st, 2007

Especially when the notice is in French.

Today I received a letter that was titled Police. A closer look revealed it was from the Grand-Duche De Luxembourg.

After opening the letter, I get a letter that is completely written in French. Which is absolutely fantastic. Not!

It looks like I am required to pay a fee or tax, as it says: Taxe a payer: 24,00 EUR. I hope that is 24 Euro and not 2400 Euro.

After looking up the Luxembourg telephone directory, and calling about five different Grand-Duche De Luxembourg, no one could give me a straight answer. Although they all spoke a little bit of English. I commonly would call up and say, Bon Jour, Vous Parlez Anglais? (Good Day, You Speak English?) - however after a bit of hesitation, most of them admit to it, but they won’t acknowledge this notice I have received.

I still have no idea what this notice is about. Considering Luxembourg has two official languages, French and German, and their non-official language of Luxembourgish, they could at least have given this letter in German as well. This way I would have a better chance of deciphering the meaning behind this notice. They also have Dutch as a common language, but it isn’t officialy sanctioned either. All legal documents in Luxembourg must be written in French or German.

But alas, I am still stuck with a notice to pay up, but I am not sure what needs to be paid, or for what reason.

I do know it may have something to do with a rental car I hired in Luxembourg back in March, as I saw the word “Avis” somewhere on the notice, but other than that, it is a mystery to me.

My choices:

  • Post them a notice back in English (which was result in another French letter)
  • Pay up via wire transfer
  • Ignore it, however my next visit to the European Union may result in my imprisonment or deportation

So my options are somewhat limited.

All I can say is, you cannot trust the French.

They’ve been snobby at the rest of the world even since Mr Burns failed to deliver them that much needed trillion dollar bill.